Losing your Purpose in the Pursuit of Love.


Last year I started up this blog with one goal in mind: to realise my purpose through issues greater than my own.

What I have discovered since then, is that your purpose is not a finish line or a measurable target. It’s an ongoing discovery of self, and the act of gaining happiness through connection with others.

I’ve put this blog on hold because of… well, LIFE – and not making excuses here, but LIFE generally does tend to throw hurdles at you and slows down the reaching of a goal. Buying a new house, moving to a new city, starting a new job is all very overwhelming and time consuming for a young, single woman, and I can forgive myself for that. But the main reason I didn’t write was because I wasn’t being inspired. I like to reduce the pressure I place on myself with this blog by accepting that this is a part of the process of soul-searching and creativity. Producing blog posts (particularly when one is not a writer) is not something you can turn on like a faucet. And even though there has been a LOT going on in Feminism since the Women’s March on Washington (now that it’s such a hot topic), I just haven’t been giving enough time to focus on what’s going on enough to comment on it.

Now, never say I don’t tell all!

Outside of the endeavors of my blog, I recently acquired a book by Katherine Woodward Thomas called ‘Calling in The One’. I stumbled upon it online, and my initial impression was that this was one of those cheesy, money-making scams targeted at the lonely cat-lady community (of which I totally am one). However, reading the reviews changed my mind. Most people seemed to suggest that the title is misleading, that if you were genuinely open minded, this book would serve as a useful tool in discovering the best in yourself, and learning to love everyone around you – not just a potential partner. So I ordered a copy, and so far, I’ve really enjoyed reading each chapter and engaging in the daily practices.

The most recent chapter, “Clarifying your Soul’s Purpose”, brought me back here, onto The 27 Resolve. It inspired me because it clarified what my purpose is on a deeper level. It reminded me of why I started this blog. It came at a particular time in my love life where I really needed to be reminded of what this was.

The chapter begins with explaining that each one of us is born to fulfill a particular destiny. For most of us, this lies beyond our consciousness and teases us with dissatisfaction. Many of us confuse our jobs and our roles in life with our purpose… our purpose is not a thing, place, occupation, title or even talent.

“Our purpose is to be. Our purpose is how we live life, not role we live. Our purpose is found each moment as we make choices to be who we really are.” – Carol Adrienne


I’ve never come across a statement that re-defines it so articulately and matter-of-fact.

It’s simple. For me, I am here to learn and grow and discover and connect with others. I am here to help and heal. I am here to radiate kindness, and happiness, or hope. If I am not making choices based on this, I am not aligning with my purpose.

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On Growing Up


On October 3rd, I turned 27.

It turned out to be a very busy time, not momentous enough to inspire a burst of thought for this blog, so the writing was delayed in the meantime.

In anycase, I have had a lot of growing up to do recently. I’ve avoided it for years. Bill paying, living away from home, travelling and making your own decisions are all VERY ADULT, but this is possibly the year where I acknowledge that I am an adult and accept the bigger responsibilities that come with it.

  1. I’ve recently accepted a job promotion at a new workplace
  2. I have to manage my money better now that I’m upgrading from a small town to a small city
  3. I’m looking into buying my first house
  4. I’m also finding out that number three is virtually impossible in the current NZ housing market
  5. As a result I am finding myself more stressed and depressed (this makes me a real adult, right?)
  6. So to avoid this, I am continuing to make an effort to recognise and realise my purpose on earth.

Obviously I haven’t figured out the last one, but this is what the blog is for. As an adult, your personality and traits are pretty much formed, so utilizing my big mouth, obstinate nature and confidence and channelling them into something positive and productive is pretty important and pretty mature … right?

But let’s be honest, I’ll never grow up. It’s all a facade! We’re all pretending we have it together – I think the important thing is to try to make something of the small hours of the day rather than waiting for another Friday to roll around. This being said, I’m continuing to be as determined as ever to make 27 the most productive, fulfilling and action-planned year! With Amy Poehler in mind, I want to grow up to be the best version of myself possible. Thanks for joining me and continuing to follow me on this 27 Resolve journey.


Seeking Significance


Sometimes a fear comes over me that I’m not at all significant. I pass people on the streets and I blend in – but I don’t feel like I should. I don’t mean this in an arrogant way, I simply hope that fate – or destiny, whichever it may be – has A Big Plan in store for me. I want to create history, help people, change the world. In reality, I am the only one who can shape my path. What I need – what I’m looking for – is a means of doing this. And what for? For meaning, I suppose. To validate my existence.

Not many women before me have had opportunities to rise up in the world.

I am definitely not blind to my own faults. I am fully aware that I have many shortcomings that not only hold me back from achieving what I want, but also obstruct my ability to be kind to others. But I want to grow more, I want to experience more, I want to absorb more and learn more in order to give myself to the world. You hear of people who are ‘born’ to become someone. A person who has prophets reciting their destinies. A person whose achievements make me question: how can I do what they did? How can I be a pioneer for change, an instrumental part in history – or at least play a role? A paralyzing fear comes over from time to time as I see these people make change while I reflect on the ‘safe’ life choices I have made, and scorn the idea of playing spectator when I could play a defining role.

It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be – Paul Arden.

You may think, on account of all this ‘seeking significance’ business, that I may be a little too ambitious, or self-indulgent, or even pursuing fulfilment erroneously. Why don’t I relax and get on with life and see what happens? Yes, yes, I hear your point. But I’d be far better off searching for meaning than waiting for it. It’s easy to become a pessimist or a misanthrope when you feel that life hasn’t dished you out its equal share in good fortune, and I don’t want to turn out that way. So I need to seek out fortune myself.

A single thread in a tapestry, though its color brightly shines, can never see its purpose in the pattern of the grand design

It’s frustrating when you know you have the ability to do something, but you can’t see a means of achieving it. Perhaps our lives really are shaped by teamwork, collaboration, working together. Maybe your worth can only be seen from afar – not by how much you achieve or how much you own.

What does significance and purpose mean to you? How do you know if or when you’ve achieved it? Can you seek it alone?